How to tell an employee they didn't get a promotion

Empathetic managers and people ops professionals may find it particularly challenging to inform an internal candidate that they didn’t get a promotion. To make the conversation easier, they might be vague, gloss over the issues, or avoid it altogether — but this approach doesn’t help anyone in the long run. Some managers may also feel tempted to make promises they can’t keep to prevent the employee from leaving.

‍But even when it’s tough to hear, clear managerial feedback is crucial for building trust between team members and employers (and employees agree*). Skirting the issue in promotion conversations only leads to resentment and leaves workers feeling confused and uninformed.

Instead, managers can use these discussions to help employees develop their skills, set clear career goals, and explore learning opportunities — factors that over 50% of employees say drive engagement and encourage them to stay in their current positions**.

‍Telling someone they didn’t get a promotion is challenging, but a transparent and well-prepared conversation will help them build a promising path toward future opportunities. This article discusses best-practice tips and suggestions to consider before, during, and after your discussion.

* Gallup, 2022

** Leapsome’s State of People Enablement Report, 2023

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How to tell an employee they didn’t get a promotion: do’s & don’ts

Delivering the news that an employee didn’t get a promotion is one of the toughest challenges managers face. But if you approach the situation with empathy, openness to dialogue, and clear goals, you can turn a difficult moment into a constructive conversation.

Let’s explore essential do’s and don’ts managers should consider when informing an employee that they didn’t get the position they applied for.
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Do #1: Prepare your team member for the conversation

Giving feedback effectively goes beyond knowing what to say during conversations — it’s also about preparing yourself and your team members for sensitive discussions.

Before you meet with your report about a missed promotion, ensure they’re mentally prepared for the discussion. For example, you could send them an email or private message asking if they’re available for a 1:1 meeting. This is your chance to gently break the disappointing news and set expectations for the conversation.

Here’s an example of how you could structure your message:

“Hi [Name],

I wanted to let you know that, unfortunately, you weren’t selected for the promotion. It was a difficult decision, and I’d like to set up a meeting to discuss the reasons behind it. I’d also like to highlight what made you a strong candidate and explore development opportunities.

Let me know when you’d be available to talk.”

Do #2: Approach the discussion with empathy

Even though you’ve given your team member time to prepare for the conversation, it’s important to begin the meeting by checking in with them. A caring, empathetic manager should ensure the employee is ready and comfortable discussing why they didn’t receive the promotion.

In situations where the employee may feel discouraged, it’s helpful to communicate that you’ll be straightforward while welcoming their input. This approach gives them a sense of ownership over the discussion and its outcomes.

“You have to remember that they’re a person and have things going on in their life that you’re not privy to. You don’t want to tell them everything they did wrong. There needs to be a balance. If you’re going to give them reasons they didn’t get the job, you should also mention two examples of their strengths or where they’ve been performing well” 

— Daivat Dholakia, VP of Operations at Essenvia

Do #3: Use “I” statements when giving your feedback

Studies have shown that “I” statements are better for communicating your perspective, as they tend to reduce anger or defensiveness in the listener. In sensitive conversations, try phrases like “I observed,” “I noticed,” or “I felt,” and avoid starting sentences with “you.”

For example, instead of saying, “In this role, you need to be good at receiving feedback, but you often get defensive and frustrated,” you could say, “I’ve observed that, on a few occasions, you’ve used confrontational language when receiving feedback.”
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Don’t #1: Don’t use the “compliment sandwich”

When giving tough feedback, you might feel tempted to use the “compliment sandwich” — starting with a compliment, then delivering the criticism, and ending with another compliment. However, employees often perceive this approach as insincere.

Instead, consider this approach:

1. Describe the situation objectively. For example, explain that the employee didn’t receive the promotion due to struggles with time management and meeting deadlines.
   
   
2. Share your perspective. Use “I” statements to communicate your observations.
   
   
3. Invite their input. Ask the employee how they feel about the situation and whether they think your assessment is fair.
   
   
4. Collaborate on action steps. Work together to develop a plan for improvement and growth.
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Don’t #2: Don’t turn the conversation into a performance review

Keep the discussion focused on why the employee wasn’t promoted — don’t use it to address unrelated issues.

If your team member wants to know how to improve their performance, explain what specifically prevented them from getting the promotion and offer to schedule a separate meeting to discuss how they can grow in their current position.
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Don’t #3: Avoid lecturing

Instead, focus on being as honest as possible about why they didn’t get the promotion, answering as many questions as possible. 

“In many organizations, the promotion process is often opaque,” writes workplace dynamics expert Amy Gallo for HBR. “People too often don’t know what criteria is used, what the timelines are, and who ultimately makes the call. Good managers try to reduce that ambiguity by being more transparent about the process and what’s involved. This not only makes the process more fair; it also helps to make it more equitable by reducing the inevitable bias that creeps into the promotion process.”

While you don’t want to drag the conversation out, creating a safe space for employees to ask questions, better understand the process, and offer their perspectives.

Instead of speaking nonstop when explaining your reasoning (which can feel like a lecture), incorporate questions throughout the conversation. For example:

• Does that make sense?
• Is there anything you’d like me to clarify?
• That’s why we made that decision. I’m open to your feedback.
• That probably wasn’t easy to hear. How are you feeling about what I’ve just said?
• Do you have questions or thoughts about what I’ve just shared?
• Are there ways we could improve the internal promotion process moving forward?

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What success looks like: real-world examples of promotion denials done right

Turning a promotion denial into a positive experience requires skill, empathy, and strategic thinking. Let’s look at how some managers and HR leaders have navigated this challenge successfully.
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Example 1: Tailoring the conversation to the context

Michelle Severin, Senior People Ops Manager & People Partner at Leapsome, shared her experience handling promotion denials; she highlighted the importance of adapting your approach based on the specific reasons for the decision.

Michelle frames the conversation differently depending on whether the denial is due to a performance gap or organizational constraints. 

For performance gaps, she emphasizes the need for specificity: “Address exactly the performance gap that needs to be filled for a promotion to the next level, and define clear goals with the individual contributor to ensure expectations are clear and aligned. If well done, this could motivate the employee even further.”

If the promotion isn’t possible due to company limitations — such as policy, budget constraints, or team structure — Michelle advises focusing on transparency: “Outline your organization’s promotion strategy in detail; then, discuss alternative growth opportunities, like taking on more responsibilities or attending a (paid) training.”

No matter the reason for the denial, Michelle underscores the importance of an open dialogue that values the employee’s perspective: “Seek an open conversation to understand the individual’s motivation for promotion and explore other opportunities to meet their expectations. Throughout this whole process, make sure to create a psychologically safe space.”
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Example 2: Being direct while making your employee feel valued

In the Harvard Business Review, senior HR leader Tania Salgado-Nealous described how she was honest and clear when informing a junior team member, Cindy, that she wasn’t ready for a specialist role: “I made sure to let Cindy know that she is a valuable asset and noted how talented she is — that she’s great at what she does,” Tania explained. “I said it was commendable that she wanted to throw her hat in the ring.”

Tania made an effort to keep her team member engaged by focusing on future growth: “I communicated that while right now she doesn't have the skill set or experience to be successful in role, we will work with her to get there.”
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Telling the employee they didn’t get the promotion: a pre-conversation checklist

Emotions can get heightened during promotion denial discussions, challenging managers and reports. That’s why it’s crucial to prepare thoroughly, so you’re ready with all the relevant information and can answer any questions. 

• Employee data: Gather all relevant information, including previous assessments. This allows you to be transparent about the team member’s strengths and any areas that may be holding them back from a promotion. However, remember you don’t want to turn the conversation into a full performance review: stick to information directly relevant to the promotion refusal.
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• Training data: Have an overview of the employee’s learning progress ready to identify where they should focus their development and build skills.
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• Conversation outline: Prepare a rough outline of your key points.
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• Meeting agenda: Create a 1:1 meeting agenda that allows you and the employee to take notes and set action points for future development discussions.

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How to tell your employee they didn’t get promoted: 7 best practices

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Now that you know what to prioritize and avoid when delivering difficult promotion news to employees, let’s explore best practices to follow when it’s time for the conversation.

1. Follow your promotion policy 

Ideally, your company should have a comprehensive promotion policy to guide managers in making fair, unbiased decisions. During the conversation, walk your candidate through this policy to explain the step-by-step process used to evaluate applicants and select the chosen candidate.

You can also reference the policy’s promotion criteria to clarify why the employee may not yet meet the requirements for career progression. Typical criteria might include:

• Strong recommendations from colleagues and leadership
• Above-average performance in the last three review cycles
• Meeting at least 80% of the skills required for the role
• Excellent communication skills

Pointing to a concrete set of standards reassures your candidate that the decision was based on objective criteria rather than unconscious bias. That’s the power of data-driven decision making — an area where an integrated HRIS and people enablement solution like Leapsome can make a huge difference. 

With Leapsome’s HRIS, you’ll have access not only to performance, learning, and engagement data, but to all employee analytics, from onboarding to exit.

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2. Speak to the employee in private

Announcing a promotion in a team or all-hands meeting before informing other candidates can be upsetting and foster a sense of secrecy in your workplace. Instead, arrange a private one-on-one meeting to prepare the employee — especially if a public announcement about another hire will follow.

Don’t announce a promotion until you’ve privately informed internal applicants they didn’t get the job.
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3. Have the conversation as early as possible

Show respect for candidates who didn’t get the promotion by informing them immediately and arranging a discussion as soon as possible; this prevents them from hearing the news from coworkers who may not have the full context.

If the promotion involves an open role, try to let them know they weren’t selected before hiring someone else. This approach enables you to focus on the individual’s situation, avoiding unproductive comparisons.
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4. Prepare your talking points

To ensure the conversation goes smoothly, prepare a written outline of the key points you want to cover. There are several benefits to planning your talking points:

• It helps you stay objective, especially if you’re nervous about the discussion
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• It ensures you stay on track, avoiding unnecessary details or speculation
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• You can seek feedback from colleagues or your manager on your approach before the meeting

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5. Be transparent & clear

Transparency is essential when informing an internal candidate they didn’t get the promotion. But what does that look like in practice?

Avoid vague statements like, “Leadership was concerned you might not handle the new responsibilities,” or, “Some managers doubted your motivation.” The employee may already be stressed and anxious, so they might not process these generalities constructively.

Instead, point to specific instances where the employee didn’t meet the required standards. For example:

• This position requires someone with good prioritization skills who consistently meets deadlines. I’ve noticed that you’ve missed several deadlines in the last two quarters.
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• As a manager, you need to set a good example by being on time, and I’ve observed you arriving late or missing meetings on several occasions over the past year.
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• This role requires excellent communication skills. Some of your peers have mentioned instances where miscommunication from your end affected their ability to do their work.
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6. Talk about action steps

During the conversation, one of your primary goals should be to outline steps the employee can take to become a more competitive candidate for future promotions. While you shouldn’t make false promises, you can offer meaningful guidance on how they can improve.‍

If you’ve already identified examples of why your report didn’t meet the requirements for promotion, use these to create a set of action steps they can work on for the coming months. For example:

• Let’s work together to help you prioritize your tasks more effectively.

• Please aim to be on time for meetings.

• Let’s explore educational opportunities to help you become a better communicator.
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7. Follow up after the conversation

It’s best to send this follow-up email or message on the same day as your meeting. Briefly outline the main points you discussed and list the action steps you agreed on. You can also schedule a follow-up meeting in the next few months to review the employee’s progress.

Remember to keep this focused on areas for development that impacted the promotion decision, and don’t turn it into a performance review.
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Tips to help your employees get promoted

When you dedicate time to supporting your people’s growth, you contribute to a healthy work culture and guide team members in building career paths that align with their strengths, leading to higher retention rates and productivity. 

• Arrange meetings to discuss career goals — Whether during performance reviews or standalone career development talks, these meetings provide an opportunity for open conversations about your team members’ aspirations. Be honest about when you think they’ll be ready for a lateral move or a managerial position. The goal is for your report to leave the meeting with a clear vision for their career path.
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• ‍Review competency frameworks in meetings — Regularly remind employees of the skills they need to develop before moving up. You can build a competency framework with Leapsome, helping your people view the core skills required at each level.
  
  
• Set objective and key results (OKRs) focused on promotion — Once your report knows the role they aim for, collaborate on creating specific OKRs to achieve it. For example:

Objective: Get promoted to Senior Product Manager role
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Key Result 1: Conduct a product management workshop with 80% participation
Key Result 2: Create a product knowledge resource with insights from 10 coworkers
Key Result 3: Complete a manager training course

Make fair, consistent promotion decisions with Leapsome

When you commit to handling difficult conversations with care, respect, and transparency, your team members will be more likely to succeed in the long term.

But you shouldn’t have to figure out the best way to do this alone. If your organization’s leadership is committed to fostering a better working environment, they must set up promotion processes that lead to more data-driven, unbiased decisions.‍

Leapsome can help. Our promotion management tool allows you to create automated workflows and collaborate seamlessly with decision-makers, ensuring a consistent, data-backed, and employee-centric promotion process.

📈 As your business evolves, so should your promotion processes

Leapsome helps you automate the entire promotion process — from setting up your promotion criteria to making fair, unbiased decisions.

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